


How Long Until I Can Love Again?

by Blue_Stars_Above



Series: How Long Indeed? [1]
Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Almost sex but not quite, Angst, F/M, Ficlet, M/M, Multi, One-shot but I might expand
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-21 12:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21074567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Stars_Above/pseuds/Blue_Stars_Above
Summary: Hamish and Randall have a connection, that can't be denied, but can Hamish recover from Cassie's death? Can he love again?





	How Long Until I Can Love Again?

Hamish shivered as Randall’s hand ghosted over his crotch. He was already hard, straining at the fabric of his pants as Randall continued tracing, fingers skipping up and down his thighs and stomach. Hamish instinctively backed up, but only felt his friend’s broad chest behind him.

“We shouldn’t be doing this” Hamish murmured.

“Why not, Hammie?” His voice was a playful whisper in Hamish’s ear.

“I-I thought....” Hamish cleared his throat, summoning the aloof aura he usually possessed. “I thought you were dating Lilith now.”

“We have an open relationship. You know Lilith-- she doesn’t like to be tied down, and she wouldn’t demand the same of me. She’s a modern woman. Besides, she’d love to get a bite out of you, too.”

“You....really are fearless, huh?” Hamish smiled, standing still. He leaned back ever so slightly, the softest of signals to his companion. Randall closed the space between them in a facsimile of a bear hug--  _ or _ , Hamish supposed,  _ a wolf hug _ . 

“That’s me,” Randall whispered in Hamish’s ear, breath hot. “Greyback the Fearless. I take risks without hesitation because I know how  _ rewarding _ \--” 

Hamish gasped as Randall firmly cupped his cock.

“--they can be.”

Randall nuzzled into his neck, planting sloppy kisses as he nudged Hamish’s shirt aside. He couldn’t stand it-- neither of them could. Hamish felt fiery and young, invincible, impossibly brash and self-assured, almost like when he’d been with Cassie and--

Cassie.

Hamish stepped away from Randall. He took a deep breath, hands pressing into his hips. He felt dizzy and nauseated. His mind always spun when he summoned up those old memories, memories of a time long gone.

He heard Randall’s slow footsteps, curious but cautious as they approached him. There was a hand at Hamish’s shoulder. Not a firm grip-- rather, Randall lightly pressed down, as if reminding Hamish of his presence.

“Hey, are you okay? We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Hamish turned slowly to face him. Randall’s lust and love had been replaced with concern. Hamish almost wanted to smile at that alone-- Randall always put his friends before himself, always ready to help no matter what it was they wanted or needed. The kind look in his eyes made Hamish proud of his friend. He smiled.

“I’m sorry. It’s just-- when you touch me like that, I think of Cassie.”

“After all these years?”

Hamish laughed. “How could I not? She made me who I am today. The broken-hearted alcoholic werewolf. Try saying  _ that _ fast while you’re drunk.”

“She also made you our leader. Without you, Lilith would just be another one of the Order’s rejects, and I’d be another pre-med kid who would’ve never met you or her. Without you to keep the Knights of Saint Christopher alive, Edward Coventry would be some all-powerful jackass.”

“Thanks for the pep talk but I.... I don’t know. I can’t change how I feel.”

Randall smiled gently. “That’s okay. But don’t think of yourself that way. You’re so much more than you think. You’re so important to so many people, Hamish. We love you.”

Randall hugged Hamish tight, squeezing slightly. He stepped back, hand on Hamish’s shoulder again, just gently rubbing. His hand left Hamish’s shoulder, and he was gone. Hamish rubbed the area, remembering his touch. He did want to be with him, but....

Hamish swallowed, rubbing at his face. Maybe one day. Maybe. For now.... He rubbed at his face and poured himself a drink. 

**Author's Note:**

> If y'all want I can rewatch The Order and write more of this. I wrote most of this when the show first came out on Netflix, but I never got around to "finishing" it till now.


End file.
